[warning, may contain foul language which I'll edit out later] not trying to tease, just have too much work to do now. here's an excerpt. please wait to comment, 'cause there's more to this. thanks.
I don't think I'll ever call myself frum. Having a kosher kitchen (that's the plan) isn't being frum (not penguin frum, anyway).
Honestly, if I fell in love with someone who was into keeping shabbos, I'd probably keep it. But THERE'S NO FUCKING WAY I'd not go see live music during the three weeks, or the nine days. Tisha B'Av, in the right relationship, sure (and I realize that would make me nothing but a poser of observance, which is why I'm just doing my thing at my own pace and if I meet someone who can deal with that, that's cool, and if not, that's fine, too). [sarcasm]besides, at 31, I'm an old maid, and no one frum will want to marry me anyway.[/sarcasm]
...I get it I get it I get it why people don't listen to music during the 3 weeks, 9 days, etc. I also work at music festivals assisting an acupuncturist, and in rabbinic chess, health care beats shabbos, so damn straight it beats sitting around mourning the temple.
Besides, I'd rather spend 3 weeks on tikkun olam projects, instead. That would be a lot more constructive than sitting around feeling like I can't. I'd rather focus on the I can, maybe make some positive change to the world. ...
I don't know; I've reached a point where I realized that any guy I meet who gives enough of a shit about Judaism to like it and be able to hang with the MO side of my family is probably going to be some sort of observant, so I've got to be able to deal with that. I don't mind being observant, I just mind being told what to do and when people are observant without thinking about why they are and expect me to do the same. I can't do that.
[going back to tisha b'av and stuff] I have a lot of problems with the whole yearning for the temple to be rebuilt thing. And with "next year in Jersusalem," 'cause if anyone wants next year in Jersusalem, they can buy a plane ticket and make it happen, they don't need to sit around longing for it.
I realize I'm probably hypersensitive about tznius, now that I'm actually aware of it. I'm sure I'll get over myself. If I were a guy and I saw girls pulling that sort of thing (like you described), I'd probably mess with 'em, too.
Religion's not logical, might as well have some fun with it.